Why Any Monkey Can Write a Great Ad

Have you heard of the play Words, Words, Words by David Ives? The plot concerns a variation on the infinite monkey theorem: Scientist Dr. Rosenbaum tests his hypothesis that "Three monkeys hitting keys at random on typewriters for an infinite amount of time will almost surely produce Hamlet.”

Without giving the end away, I will tell you right now that with enough monkeys, the theory works. Infinite monkeys + infinite typewriter + infinite time = the world’s great writing. And you want to know what? The same is true of copywriting. Any monkey can write an ad given enough time and a fancy typewriter.

Of course, in the event your infinite monkeys are devoted to other things, here are a few copywriting devices to fill your quiver and write better ads.

METAPHOR

A metaphor is a comparison between unrelated subjects. My love is a rose. Your computer is a jalopy. My Toyota is bubble wrap (that’s how safe it is). The implication here is that by making this comparison, I can telegraph certain benefits to a product quickly. Well-crafted metaphors are elegant and simple. Remember your brain on drugs?

IRONY

It’s not just for your sarcastic urban hipster friends anymore. Irony is the act of saying one thing but meaning another. Stephen Colbert has built an empire of irony. This device works the best when the reader knows the truth and can connect the dots. They are fun concepts to write, because oftentimes they make a case for the exact opposite point of view from conventional wisdom. We know that homelessness is bad, but at least you don’t report to a cubicle.

PARADOX

A paradox is so crazy it just might work. It’s when Jerry Falwell is busted for pornography. And it’s the very definition of a contradiction in terms. My favorite ads are paradoxical, because they’re often the solutions that require the most insight. I just saw this line for Gore-Tex in Outside magazine: “People who hike in anything won’t hike in just anything.“

SIMILE

Remember the metaphor? A simile is like a metaphor, except you compare two unrelated subjects using the word “like.” “The ride of a Mercedes-Benz is like swaddling yourself in a magic carpet pillow wrapped in diamonds.”

Your English teacher will tell you that it’s not as strong a narrative device as a metaphor for this very reason. You should gently sit that teacher down and explain that you’re not writing fiction. You’re writing advertising. She will be so disappointed.

Of course this isn’t an exhaustive list. There are almost as many copywriting devices as there are monkeys in your theorem. But at least this will probably give you a good start on your road to writing compelling, interesting headlines that go beyond “Got ______?” Want more? Maybe you should hire a copywriter.

Jordan Sher is a copywriter. Hint. Hint.

Originally posted on The Denver Egotist.